How did I get here?  

I had a moment last night when I asked myself this very question. This has been a pretty good week for me. After still being on a high from my dad visiting last week, the blessings continued this week as my brother Nathan Hulstine and I spoke to the local college’s FCA on Monday night, and then I spoke to our District Girl’s Basketball team last night. In both cases, I had no notes prepared. I went cold turkey, except for a couple of scriptures that God had placed on my heart. I went cold turkey, not because I wanted to, but because every time I tried jotting down notes, my brain would lock up. But both times, I was amazed at the words that I heard coming out of my mouth.

How did I get here? 

My life is not perfect. I’m not perfect. I have my worries. Fears. Concerns. My brain is often a jumble of all of my imperfections and mistakes from the past hour, not to even mention the entire day. I’m often a mess. But, how did I get here? I guess simply enough. I haven’t quit trying. I remember the night back in March of 2002 that I surrendered to the call of God on my life. I knew that as soon as I said yes, my life would look totally different, but that wasn’t the case. None of my life since that point has added up to what I thought it would be. There have been disappointments, failures, and enough tears to fill my own room. There have been times when I have been so angry with God that I refused to even pray, because I didn’t  believe that He was hearing me. Then there have been moments so tender. when God would pull me to His chest, and just reassure me that His process was more important that my predictions. My striving to be great paled in comparison to the greatness that He already saw in me.

I wanted to preach all of the time. I wanted to be in front. I wanted to be in control of music, writing stuff that told stories of His goodness, but secretly desiring acclaim…or not so secretly. My life has been an education. It has been humbling. It has been a desert. It has been a mountaintop. It has been a valley.

How did I get here?

I got here…where I get a chance to speak to students every day about English, but mostly about the greatness within them, because I can’t quit. As much as I believe in the greatness of God in their lives, I also believe in the greatness of God in my own life. There are things that I need to do in this life before I’m done, things that God has whispered to me are more His dreams than my own. Even now, he is deprogramming me of my stark sense of timing, and telling me to relax…that life is a marathon, and I just have to keep moving my feet. That even if nobody hears a song I wrote, or reads a book that I have written, when those things happen, He will be pleased, and will get the glory. That brings a smile to my face. I want to please my Heavenly Father more than anything.

Until then, I will delight whole-heartedly in even word of encouragement that I get to pass along in my teaching career. I will delight in working with children and speaking life into them by whatever means I can. I will delight in my struggle, because His process works. It is tried and true.

So, How did I get here?

Because He loves me. Simply. Truthfully.

And the same goes for you.

Be blessed today.


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