This morning, I was reading in Unqualified, by Pastor Steven Furtick about Jacob. He was talking about how Jacob stole the blessing of Esau from Isaac. As I’m reading this, a thought comes to me that had never crossed my mind before.
The blessing was a curse on his life for so many years, because it was not his to have.
As the firstborn, Esau was entitled to the blessing and the birthright. The birthright was the inheritance, and the blessing was God’s hand on his life. Jacob would have been blessed as well, but he was trying to receive a blessing that had not been set aside from him. As these thoughts were running around inside of my head, Pastor Furtick went back to his original point in the book.
God can’t bless the person that you’re trying to be. He can bless the person that he created you to be.
It felt like God had taken a mirror and shone it right back into my heart. My life has been an amalgamation of “wannabes” and “pretend to bes”. I’ve blogged about this very thing before, but right now I’m combing through my life and seeing the times when I have wished I were someone else, or tried to be someone else, or grew tired of being someone else, because somewhere in my DNA the lie that “Justin is not enough” continues to have some roots int he ground. Somewhere in my mental makeup, the lie is still believed. It is the root of my tendencies to compare myself, or where jealousy can come in and wreak havoc, or even where some discontentment comes from.
Jacob could not realize the benefits of the blessing because he was not Esau. That blessing had Esau’s name on it. It could not be a blessing to him until he surrendered who he thought he was, for who God created him to be.
God does not bless imposters. He blesses those who embrace all that they are, the good, the bad, and the ugly, because God embraces all of those things about us, and His love is unfailing.
So who’s blessing are you trying to walk in today that is not yours? Who’s giftings are you trying to recreate in order to receive what someone else has? Who’s platform are you trying to build that does not have your name on it?
Jacob discovered that the blessing that was not his to have was a curse for him to endure until God intervened. We can’t walk in the favor of someone elsebecause that favor becomes a burden. It’s like putting on clothing that was meant for my children. I look foolish, and it does not fit my specifications.
This morning I’m asking myself these same questions, and I’m praying that God would continue rooting out of me the feelings of inadequacy. As a reflection of God, I am enough, because He is my sufficiency.
Not sure why the transparency this morning, but I pray that someone reads it and has the same kind of “mirror moment” that I am in the midst of.
God loves you as you are. He wants to bless who YOU are.
Be blessed today!