Don’t you just hate it when you read something, or hear something that challenges your personal theology in a way that you don’t even normally think about? I say hate, but in reality, I love it. It usually forces me to change the way that I think about myself, and if I am honest, I have some real “self” issues.
We hear so much about women having issues about the way that they see themselves, and I totally agree that it is a problem. I see it every day in my classroom. But I would go a tad further and say that men can have those same issues. I’m one of them. This morning, I was just not feeling myself in the mirror. I didn’t like what I saw.My clothes didn’t fit right Sure, it’s because I don’t eat right and exercise, but for me, it goes a bit deeper than that. There is something fundamentally wrong about what I see in the mirror versus what i know God sees in me, and the struggle often becomes taking what I know as head knowledge from my relationship with Christ and letting is become “heart” knowledge, so that it affects how I live my life.
So, as I’m getting dressed, I’m listening to “7 at 7”, which is the live stream from Elevation Church based on their new series “7 Mile Miracle”. It really is a cool promotion on their behalf. The devotional this morning talked about the very thing that I was dealing with but in a very different arena. The Pastor from one of their other campuses talked about how somewhere in his life he developed this phobia of being called in to speak with people. So, basically, if someone said to him, “Come see me in my office”, or “I need to speak with you”, his insides twisted. He began to think of every possible thing that he could have done wrong to warrant being called into the “principal’s office”. He couldn’t see that anyone would want to speak with him about anything good. As a matter of fact, he says that when he was given the campus pastorship by Pastor Steven Furtick, he was afraid that something else was going to happen other than a promotion.
I’m the same way. I didn’t get in trouble a bunch when I was a child. I didn’t get in trouble much in school (because my parents would have killed me), but somewhere along my life, I developed this phobia of people wanting to meet with me. Oh, I’ll go to the meetings. I’ll appear cool and calm. I’ll smile. But something inside of me is always waiting for the bomb to drop. I’ve been fired from jobs. Disciplined in jobs for mistakes. But I’ve also been pulled in for positive reasons. However, it’s the negative instances that seem to inform how I view any kind of meeting with a superior. Perhaps as supervisors, we need to make sure that we are calling people in for good reasons so that there is no trepidation that can form. That is the kind of leader that I want to be. Make time for the complimentary conversations, and the hard ones can come easier. Leaders, let’s pull the veil back and lead from a position of positivity with those who serve alongside us.
Or just maybe, I need to really believe that someone would want to go out to dinner with me just to catch up. Or that my Principal would just want to talk about how the school year is going. Maybe I need to be able to look into the mirror and see someone who is worth hanging out with in good times. Someone that others look at and just want to talk to from time to time about good, positive things. That I’m worth the good conversations, not just the bad.
God sees me that way. God looks at me with a smile and not a frown. Wow! I know this, but it still astounds me. I feel so unworthy of His love, but that’s not a God problem. That’s a “me” problem. I have to allow the word to change that about me. I have to allow the Spirit of God to change that. It has to change. God smiles on me. God smiles at me. God smiles when He thinks about me.
So yeah, this is a very transparent post. I also think it is a powerful implication if we can accept the truth of God in a personal way. I’m attaching the devotional from this morning if you’d like to check it out.
Remember, God smiles on you. Be blessed today!