I’m presently sitting outside on a bench just taking in another beautiful day in Holland, Michigan. It is no irony that I’m here. Every morning and evening, I have an opportunity to listen to messages that scrape away the calloused places of my heart. I get to watch worship from youngsters that force me to confront just how sincere my own worship is. I walk 20k steps per day to serve wherever I am needed, and I laugh so much that my stomach hurts. I walk the campus at night to make sure students are where they should be, but it’s so cool, because I also get to minister to students.
God had to have me away from what was familiar into what is foreign, to give me a reboot. It’s funny that I have fought Him, but His relentless pursuit of our hearts, of my heart, has astounded me. He has made me pay attention. I have wanted to collapse into tears so many times this week as He has told me who I am to Him, and what my place in Him is. I have made connections that don’t have to be regular, yet mean so much in this season of life. The more God has loved on me, the more I have loved my wife and kids, even in the sparse moments that I get to spend with them.
I see my imperfections. I see my failures. I see my trust issues. I see my feelings of inadequacy.
But I also see His grace. I see His love. I hear Him calling me, like Peter, to feed His sheep. He never asked me to be perfect. He has only asked me to be willing to step out into the adventure of His will.
And it’s the most beautiful thing, because see, like Peter, I have failed Him. I do fail Him, yet He never focuses on my failure, and points me continually toward faithfulness in who He is, and how He loves me.
So yeah. It’s beautiful.